end of the year

This has been a weird year, to say the least.  I haven't posted in a while due to recent events, and I had felt like I had lost my voice.  Everyday I have found things to write about, but due to my laptop being down for the last couple of weeks, I haven't shared.  But now, without further ado, here are my thoughts about my year.

* My husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary this year, our 16th year together, and 12 years since we decided to become man and wife.  While we have had our ups and downs, as every other couple in history has, this year has become a renewal in our love for each other.  Maybe it was a romantic week away together, maybe it was our year spending time at the gym together, or maybe it was just that we have become more in sync.  Whatever it is, my husband and I are more deeply in love now than we were 15 years ago.  I love him so much!

* I lost one of my closest friends last month.  Closest meaning - the person I talked to all of the time, knew me like no other, made me a better person, someone I knew really well, and someone that I could be myself with and visa versa.  We didn't exchange bday/xmas gifts, we didn't go out for beers, we never called each other to gab.  I met him 16 years ago by vying against him in physics class in high school.  We kept in contact via email, IM, and texts.  We were friends.  We didn't talk about specifics about our lives, but we talked about the people we were inside.  I will miss him always.  But it has made me more thankful for the other friends I have.  My best friends from High School that I will always cherish, those women that have been with me through thick and thin.  My dearest friends that I will always, always, consider my best friends.  It is my goal to make them understand that depth of my love and appreciation for them in the future.  To never let them question my friendship.  Nic, Susie, Nikki.  And even my newest friends.  I want to make the effort.

* We have decided to try and move next year, which should be interesting.  We need a bigger house, and we would like to be out of this area by the time Dylan goes to middle school.  I hate to make him leave, but at least we aren't leaving the metro area, so he will still be able to see his friends.  I don't want to move before the year is up, as Dylan has a really great teacher this year and he is in the gifted class.  But I am sure that he will excel no matter where he is at.  I really need to have more room to work, and the boys will need their own rooms, as Dylan is almost 9.  Plus, James made a deal with Dylan that if he had a good year at school and got good grades, then he would give him his own room with his own Wii U.  Good deal, huh?  And of course, Dylan is having a stellar year.  No problems and great grades as usual.

* Speaking of Dylan, he is a boy after my heart.  He has gotten really into Harry Potter this year, and is the in the middle of reading the 3rd book.  I love it!  Okay, so he started reading the books because his girlfriend Piper is reading them, but it is still cool.

* My aunt Marletta was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer in August.  It has been really tough on my mother, not getting to be with her all of the time during her treatment.  She did spend a week with her in December and will most likely be going back in February.  The treatment is going well and now that they are certain of where it is, she will have surgery to remove it in the next month.

* James and I did the Warrior Dash together in August, but he hurt his ankle a little that day.  A few weeks later, he really hurt it playing basketball at the park while Nikki and I were running.  His doctor was afraid that they might have to do surgery to fix the ligament using parts from a cadaver, but his physical therapy went really well.  He finished his last session today and is stronger than ever.  Plus, he is stronger all over because he started working out on lunch with a guy he works with.  Next years Warrior Dash will awesome.  Another plus side to his P.T. - his therapist wants to do the Tough Mudder as well, so we can do it together!  Kick ass!!!!

* I got braces the week before Christmas.  I figured that if I was going to work hard on my body, I might as well work on my head as well.  I don't want to end up being one of those pictures that is circulated around the internet of a nice body but when they show the person's face, she is all messed up.  Stupid fear, I know, but still a fear!

Okay, I am sure that I will find something else to talk about later, so I may edit....  But that is a good start.

Body Image

No matter how much you try to not be affected by the media, by peoples comments, by gossip, or by others opinions of you, there will always be those areas of self-doubt lingering in your mind.  Who from the 90's doesn't remember "36-24-36 - Haha.  Only if she's 5'3"!"  (Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back).  When that song came out, I remember going to go find my mom's measuring tape to find out what my measurements were, and then worrying that they weren't good enough.  I think I have only had 2 years since I was 16 years old where I didn't care about what others thought of me and my body.  Ahhh, the freedom of I not trying to cover myself up in baggy clothes or to dress sexy - I wore what I wanted instead of trying to fit into what everyone else was wearing.  All of my friends had such completely different body types that we never felt like we had to look like each other. 

After having major body image issues for 14 years, I'm on the road to try to fix myself - body, mind, and soul.  I am really trying hard to get it into my head that I don't have to look like anyone else to be happy.  That's pretty tough though, can I just tell you?!  Countless research has shown that we remember bad things easier and more vividly than the good things.  So, 10 of your friends say that they love your new hair cut and color, but 1 criticizes it - she says it makes you look weird or something.  You know the others loved it, but that 1 person created such doubt in your mind that now all you see in the mirror is that you look weird, even if you loved it before she said anything.  And what's even worse about it is that it works with both direct, indirect, and off-handed comments.  For example: Your boyfriend says "Megan Fox is hot!"  What you should say is "Yeah, she's beautiful."  But all too often you are thinking "Oh no. He likes brunettes.  Maybe I should dye my hair." or "He must think I'm fat compared to her."   REALITY CHECK - He isn't comparing you to Megan Fox, so why should you?  When you say "Brad Pitt is handsome", you aren't comparing your boyfriend to him - so remember that it works the same way with him.

To top it all off, we are actively trying to make ourselves feel even worse!  We make comments about ourselves and then judge other peoples reactions to what we said.  "I'm so big and ugly!"  If they don't automatically say "No, you're beautiful!" or "You're not fat.", or even just "I like you just the way you are!", then we worry that they are trying to find a tactful way of saying that they agree with you.  If they wait a couple of seconds to say something positive, then we jump to the conclusion that they are lying to spare our feelings.  So then not only are you thinking something bad about yourself, then you think that the other person agrees with you.  Why do we do that to ourselves!?!?!?!  And the even bigger question is - How do we stop doing it?

While reading the November Glamour magazine, some Victoria's Secret models admitted that they have body images as well.  On a job, they have professional make up, stylists, hair dressers, great lighting, and if that doesn't make them look amazing enough, then their photos are retouched to perfection.  When they are home without those things, they compare their real selves to their modeling photos, and it makes them feel bad.  Photoshop can be a great tool, don't get me wrong.  When I was having my senior pictures done in high school, the majority of them were taken outside with the mosquitoes eating away at me.  When I went in to view the photos, my face and body were covered with large red bites, and in several photos you could actually see the bugs on my skin!  I had those re-touched to remove the bites and the bugs, so then what was left was the real me.  But all to often now, people are using the programs to slim their bodies, tame their hair, even out their skin, and even make themselves taller.  Then they wonder why the person in the mirror doesn't match their cool Facebook photo! 

If you're not happy about a facet of your image, then do something about it.  If you think you're fat, then diet, join the gym, or do other activities to get into shape.  If you have bad skin, see a dermatologist.  If you don't like your teeth, see a dentist or orthodontist.  If you can't get passed your issues, try seeing a therapist.   I know that all of this is easier said than done.  I have been going to the gym for almost 4 years now, and I am still unhappy with my body, all the time.  I hate that I can't get the bad comments out of my head, especially when my husband looks at me like I am the most beautiful and sexy woman alive. I need to start seeing myself the way he sees me.

Sometimes it would be nice to be a man.  Even if they have body issues, they are a lot better at covering them up.  I had to laugh when I saw the photo below.  It just says it all, right?

So the next time you hear things like:

• You look so much prettier with long hair.
• Have you thought about updating your wardrobe?
• If you were mine, I would get you down to 120 lbs. 
• I would be so much more excited if you were talking about you getting Botox.
• If you had bigger boobs, then the rest of you would look smaller.  
• Your butt looks saggy in those jeans.
• I hate bright nail polish - but on you it's okay.... 

Remember that some comments may be meant to bring you down, but others may be meant to bring you up!  And if you don't like the comments the way they were said, try to put a positive spin on it in your head. 
"Yeah, I do look pretty with long hair, but my short haircut rocks, it's versatile, and easy to do!" 
"Yep, I need to get new jeans, because I have literally been working my ass off at the gym!"

I am not sure if I will ever have a good body image of my complete self.  I will always have stretch marks (or my "tiger stripes" from being pregnant), I have a baby-belly shelf, I have some saggy skin from losing weight that I pray tightens up, and I have a weird frankenstein scar on my back from my surgery.  I can't change those things, so I need to learn to accept them and just try to change the things that I can.  I can continue to tone my body, get clothes that fit well, and I am going to get braces to fix the crowding in my teeth.  There will be other things along the way, but right now, even slow progress is progress.  :)

Another size one.....

Weekend afternoons are reserved for "quiet time".  Normally, mom takes a nap, the boys either nap or stay in their playroom, and dad watches movies or shows that only he likes. 

Today, I decided not to take a nap.  I had a cup of coffee with lunch, so that was a big part of it.  I left James to watch one of his movies and I went upstairs to the bedroom to do whatever....  I decided to clean a little and dust.  And I also wanted to try on some of my old dresses from 10 years ago.  Yeah, I know what you're thinking - "Why on earth would she have kept dresses from so long ago?!?!"  Well, normally they would have been given away, especially since for most of those 10 years, I couldn't fit into them.  But these dresses have sentimental value.  I bought 2 white dresses right before my wedding so that I would have a white dress to wear as I left the reception to head for the airport.  I bought 2 because I wasn't sure which one I liked best, and because I wanted both for the formal nights on the cruise.  Both are knee length and white.  One is strapless (but can add straps) with a long slit in the back.  The other is sleeveless, a high neckline in the front and a deep V in the back, and had two high slits in both the front and the back.  I really, really like them both. 

I wasn't expecting much when I wanted to try them on, but both fit!  They didn't fit exactly like they did 10 years ago, before I had babies and loose skin from weight loss.  They zipped up easily - and would have looked so much better had I not been wearing black panties.  Oh well.  At least I know that if for some reason I need a dress, I have 2 in my closet ready for that.  Just give me some spanx & a cute sweater/jacket, and I will be good to go!

Naps

I love my weekend naps, but I found someone who likes them more than I do.

Dobby.  He sleeps in his crate in the closet at night, so naps are the only time he is allowed to sleep on the bed.  He snores so loud and just takes over.

Looks like...

I was going through my facebook feed tonight and thought "if anyone ever looked through my FB feed the way I see it, they would totally think I'm a lesbian! "  It's not that I only have pics of women - I also have lots of pics of sexy men - I just love erotic photography and those FB sites tend to post the most. 

Dreams!

After a night of tossing and turning and way too much dreaming, I woke up and very vividly remembered 3 dreams.  So, I thought I would write them down, and what better place than this!

1st dream -
My friends Wes and Julia moved to a house, and she had some women over for something...  not sure what it was though.  The house was laid out like my friend Nikki's sister-in-laws house near Wash Park, but was all dark woods and paint in the dream.  Now, Julia in real life is a picky eater, and a total American food girl.  But in my dream, she was talking about her organic food garden with kale, spinach, tomatoes, onions, parsnips, strawberries, etc.  They recycle and compost, and they have solar panels in the back of the house.  She sold her car, got a job at a whole foods market, and bikes to work.  She had a black cat and a pug puppy. 
It was really bizarre because that isn't how they are at all...  Not sure what it meant.

2nd dream -
James and I were in this warehouse place, kind of like Apex Movement's warehouse.  But my parents and a bunch of our friends were there too.  And we were participating in some weird obstacle course / training course.  The first was that you had to take down a big man that was trying to attack you.  and another was a military type obstacle where you had to throw grenades from behind barriers and hit your targets.

3rd dream -
I was a guy in some sort of prison or rehab place.  There was this guy that had screwed some sort of puzzle/riddle to this white outside wall of a dormitory, and it contained diamonds.  Apparently I knew about it before, so I had gone over and secretly stripped all of the screws so that they wouldn't come out.  So, the bad guy had a gun and was making all of the other guys try to get the stuff taken off the wall.  But no one but me knew that there were diamonds hidden in them.  I had the best luck of getting some of the cases off.  I was going to take them, but the bad guy caught me.  I shuddered awake then, so I am not sure if he was going to shoot me or what.  I would bet that's what it was. 

Inner fat girl

We were putting away our groceries from Sam's Club tonight, and I was pulling out the cereal boxes to put away.  "Oooooh, Lucky Charms!!!" is what I said, and without missing a beat, my husband said "Oh, hello Inner Fat Girl!"   I died.  So funny!

All kinds of stuff

1) I had to go buy a new winter coat.  The last one I bought was 4 years ago  I was a bigger girl then, and I thought "Maybe we'll go up to the mountains and I might need one of those 4-in-one jackets."  Well, I bought it in a size XL - what was I thinking????  Okay, so I was thinking that I would need it a little bigger so that it could fit over a sweater or something.  Never, ever happened.  So last year, I was wearing this XL coat on my size M frame, and I looked like I was swimming in it!  My friends laughed and said I looked pretty ridiculous, which I did.  So this year, I vowed to get a better coat.  And I did!!!!  I bought a Columbia coat, size medium.  Cute, form fitting, warm, purple, and totally me.  I love the way I look and feel in it.  Best purchase I have made in the last year.

2)Old Married Couple.   This just happened, so I thought I would share it.   We were walking into the kitchen to do something, and James said "Ahhh, we are such an old married couple."  So I said "Yup!"  And he couldn't just leave it at that.  He said "You're old, I'm married, and we're a couple."  LOL - it makes it sound like I'm a cougar having a tawdry affair with a young newlywed!

3)  "One, Two, Three - Fera Verto"   I was sitting at my work desk the other day with the music playing.  Dylan was watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in the playroom.  I hadn't heard him come out, but I had this weird feeling that someone was watching me.  I turned around and he was standing behind me with a pretend wand in his hand whispering at me.  I asked him what he was doing, and he said "One, Two, Three - Fera Verto" while giggling.  So I pretended to be offended and said "Are you trying to turn me into a water goblet????"  And we both cracked up laughing.  It was hilarious!!!!!  He is really into Harry Potter now and just finished reading the first book.  He may not look like me, but he is so my kid!!

Giggly

We put the kids to bed and my husband went downstairs while I fixed my nail polish.  All of the sudden I hear my 31 year old, 6'2" burly man giggling like a school girl.  What?!?!? 
I go downstairs and he is chasing around Dobby the pug.  It was so frickin' hilarious!!!!

Tiny

I am a foodie.  Never made an excuse about it.  Simple English.  I LOVE FOOD!  Many years ago, I started working out.  I work out so that I can eat.  I am not dying to be 35 yrs old and a size 0.  Nor am I knocking anyone who is.  We all have a goal or an ideal image of ourselves.  At a size 0 12 years ago, I was miserable and anorexic.  Right now I am a size 8, fit, built, and happy.

Yesterday a friend referred to me as "tiny".  I am not Tiny.  Not even a little bit.  I am a size medium and happy about it.  Knowing who I am and what I look like, I wasn't sure if I should say "Thanks!" or "you shouldn't have...". 

Background - We were at Old Chicago's for dinner.  We were out trick-or-treating with our friends at a mall and we wanted to do dinner.   Great!  So, we go to order, and I order a Chicago Seven Stromboli, wings for an appetizer, and a pumpkin spice beer.  My friend Christine said that she wished that I could come over and meet her parents.  Her mom would love me because she would love a "tiny" girl that loved to eat that she could feed.   I love it!  Really, I would love to go somewhere and not worry about the food.

At home, I worry about what I eat.  I do P90X workouts in the morning.   Then I eat something packed with protein.   At lunch, I eat balanced.   But when I am with my family, I don't eat well.  Pizza?  Spaghetti?  Soup & Sandwiches?  Fend for yourselves?   Ooops.

Tiny?  Nope.  Medium?  Yep.  I am average.  And that is fine by me.

Abraham Lincoln

I was watching a commercial for the new movie "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" and it triggered a random thought.  A kid is doing a report on Abraham Lincoln.  He goes online to do some research and Googles "Abraham Lincoln".   Wouldn't it be funny if a kid ends up writing a paper that includes how our president rid the country of vampires????

Pills

Confession:   My husband can take 5+ pills at once with 1 ounce of water.  I have no clue how on earth he does it.  I have to use 16 ounces of water to take 2 small pills - and shake my head and the stuff in my mouth while I am doing it to make sure it all goes down okay.  

The Mom Trap

I was thinking about the TLC show "What not to Wear" the other day, and I started thinking about all the women on the show that would say something like "It doesn't really matter what I look like, I'm a mom."  That was their excuse for dressing poorly, not doing their hair or makeup, and not spending any time pampering themselves. 

I am hugely guilty of being caught in the "mom trap" - where you lose yourself in your title as a mom and forget how to be the person you really are.  Being a mother is WHAT you are, not WHO are.  It doesn't mean that you shouldn't adapt who you are to include your role as a mom, but I have seen so many women that have had kids and then "mom" is all they are anymore. 

Here was my case.  I kind of just let myself go after I had kids.  I didn't dress well, figuring that it didn't matter since I was a mom.  I let my kids dictate our schedules, our meals, our trips, our nights.  I would go without things just so they always had what they needed or wanted.  My life revolved around my husband and children, our house, and the animals.  I found that I only did the things I liked if I could do them without interrupting our family time.  Now that the only people that see me on a daily basis are other parents/kids and people at the gym, I don't see a need to try and impress anyone.  But what happened to impressing myself?  Feeling good about myself?  I am trying to make a daily effort to make sure that I don't let myself slip into that again.  I get dressed and partially do my makeup every day.  I work out.  I have found a love of athletics - running, hiking, lifting, swimming (sometimes), and have even contemplated getting a bicycle.  And it is nice to be able to incorporate my fun into family fun.  I used to feel guilty if I was away from them, but now I realize that to be the best mom I can be, I have to be the best all-around person I can be.   

You should never lose sight of who you truly are and what you truly like.  If you liked dancing before kids, then make time every once in a while to go dancing.  If you like writing, make the time to do that still.  Plus, you should start to do new and different things.  The best part about it is that now you have other people to share those things with.  Painting can be a family affair.  Get the kids involved in hiking, biking, running, or other activities you enjoy outside.  And if they don't want to participate, then do it by yourself. 

Later on in life, when the kids are grown, you will still have those things to keep you happy.  If you make your kids or husband your only priority, you will have an empty void once they are gone, and it would take a lot of time to find out how to fill it.  Take care of yourself - mind, body, and soul. 

And just remember - you will never hear a man say "It doesn't really matter what I look like, I'm a dad." 

The Strawberry

TMI - I am a true lover of erotic photography.   The above photograph is amazingly sexy.  You don't have to be straight, gay, lesbian - it is sexy and beautiful.   I love the contrast of the red, white, and black & white photography. 

I'm a Cloudy

I love clouds.  I love looking at them, and taking pictures of them.  I got a new camera for my birthday to be able to take better pictures of clouds.  Tonight, I thought that maybe I would like to make a coffee table book with my pictures.  I should really look into it. 

Trees

I love Palm Trees.  I think it is partly because I have never lived in  place where they are prevalent.  Do people in Miami think "I love Aspens!" or "I love Evergreens!"?   Just curious.

Addiction

Hi, my name is Becki, and I am a cloud addict. 

Okay, it's not AA, but I do have an addiction - to clouds. I love clouds.  I am addicted to clouds....

Back story!  I usually don't get a surprise gift for my birthday.  So this year, my hubby said that he was going to get me something very expensive and something that I hadn't asked for.  I had no clue!!!!  Well, I was sitting at home with the kids one afternoon this summer when I saw some amazing clouds out the back door.  I grabbed my camera, ran outside, took a few photos, and then it hit me - HE'S GETTING ME A GOOD CAMERA!   I had been complaining that my little pink camera didn't take as good a pictures as I had wanted, and the thing I love taking picture of most (besides for him and the kids) is CLOUDS!   Well, I mentioned it to him and he confessed that yes, he did want to get me a good camera and some photography lessons.

Right before my birthday, I went to Best Buy and picked myself out a Canon Powershot XS 160.  Great camera, no pesky lenses to be interchanged, 16 megapixels, and incredible zoom!  Now I am obsessed with taking pictures of clouds.  I know that most people could care less about clouds, but they are such an amazing subject to me!  Let me share a few of my most recent and let you decide.

Pop Rocks!!!!

Whoo Hoo!  I know, I know, I just ate a candy that was for one of my sons.  But, Dylan got it 2 months ago, and didn't eat it.  So, finders keepers!  I didn't really go for it, so it's okay - James brought it in and tossed it at me.  My man knows me!  Plus, he hates Pop Rocks....

downward dog

Stretching on the floor with 2 dogs and 2 cats in the house means you are never stretching alone.  Bend over and try to touch your toes without a dog in your face - Just Try It!  It only works when you put the dogs outside before you stretch, or do yoga in a different room than your cats.  Otherwise, Downward Dog brings on a WHOLE DIFFERENT meaning!  :)

1/2 Marathon

My friend Nikki and I ran our first 1/2 marathon yesterday - the Denver Rock & Roll 1/2 Marathon.  While we were uncertain as to how it would go, given we hadn't gotten a full training session in for it, we were hopeful that we would have a great race.  Our only real goals for it were 1) to complete it, and 2) to not get so far behind that we would have to be picked up and taken up to the pack.  Well, we accomplished both of those, and then accomplished something we had both secretly wanted but never said - we both really wanted to run the whole thing.  We had talked for weeks about running as far as we could (maybe 7 or 8 miles) and then run/waking the rest of it.  On a training run a couple of weeks ago, we tried using a GU gel to help keep us going.  We discovered that it really does help us a ton!  I have a friend that doesn't eat or drink gatorade (or the like) while she runs a marathon, but her husband does both.  Another friend said that he doesn't see a reason to eat for a half marathon.  Well, like everything, you have to find what works out best for yourself and follow that. 

My husband took us down there and dropped us off around 6:15am - that was really nice of him and the boys to get up that early!  We wandered around to look at everything and actually got our gear bags ready right near the porta-potties.  I have a nervous bladder, so I had to pee twice before the start!  We had some watermelon gummies before the race that were really great.  We met up with a girl she works with a girl named Susan - she runs occasionally with her and her twin Sarah.  We were supposed to start in corral 18, but with so many people there, we just fit ourselves in line in corral 10 and went for it.  Susan and Sarah took off ahead of us, and we just went slow and steady.  I felt really bad because I ended up having to stop twice more to pee during the race - around mile 3 and mile 6.  And of course there were lines at both stops.  It ended up adding 6.5 minutes on to our time.  The official tag time was 2:43.57 and my garmin watch time was 2:37.26 (I stopped it while we were stopped.).   We finished under our predicted time of 3 hrs, and we didn't stop to walk at all!

My right foot I think will always be a problem.  I put a second skin patch over the spot where I normally get a blister on my arch, but it rubbed off and I ended up with two pretty bad blisters there.  My left foot is great - never a problem with shoes or running.  But my right shoes never fits well, and I have gotten blisters on every run over 4 miles.  I am not sure what I need to do about that, but I have a little bit of time to figure it out. 

We still don't have the drive to run a full marathon, but we would really like to work this next year on improving our times for the 5k, 10k, and 1/2 marathon.  This past year has really shown me that I can do so much more than I thought I could.  A year and a half ago when I started running, my goal was just to be able to run the Race for the Cure 5k.  Who would have guessed that less than a year later, I would have run a full half marathon!?!?!?!  Not very often am I this proud of myself.  And I don't think I could have done it without Nikki.  She has been my rock through this and she keeps me going every step of the way.   I can't wait to see what else we can do in the future.  :)

That's us, at 6:30 am yesterday.   What a proud day for us!!!

For My Fibronaut Friend Susie

In April, I started this summer running journey in honor of my friend Susie, who has been fighting Fibromyalgia.  See the post below.....

My Randomness: personal randomness 

She has been doing better lately, as she is trying to find more things to help with her pain and fatigue.  While I swapped out the Tough Mudder for the Warrior Dash, I still did 3 races in her honor.  Today was my final race - the half marathon.  When I was struggling to continue running, I thought of her and some of the hilarious things she has posted to her blog lately.  She is such an inspiration to me!  I couldn't help but smile thinking of her and her family.  They are all so strong, and while I don't know all of their inner family struggles, I love that she still has her wonderful quirky sense of humor - and I can see it in her kids too.  I am so lucky to have her in my life.  Love her!

I've had work done

I was talking about getting green contacts tonight.  And I have recently purchased a brighter red dye kit for my hair for the winter.   So, my husband said that if I was going to get any work done, it should be my boobs - because that would last! 

walk to the mailbox

Sometimes, it's fun to be bad.  At 9:45 at night, it is super exciting to walk the block down to the mail boxes in your underwear!!!!   No cars passed us.  But we did walk by a friends house where they had all of their downstairs lights on.  It was just a weird exciting thing to do!  I highly recommend it.

I miss painting

I went to a bachelorette party at Canvas and Cocktails over the weekend.  It was so super fun and I highly recommend it to everyone.  You get to paint while you have a few glasses of wine or bottles of beer.  Or more if it so happens!  That's my final painting above.  I don't think it looks anything like what it should - it is supposed to be Larimer Street.  One of the girls at the party said that it looks more like a canal in Venice, Italy.

While I was painting, I was taken back to when I used to do it when I was a teenager.  It's not quite the same as I used to do, but it was still so fun.  I miss painting.   I only have one painting (until now) of mine in our house, and I keep thinking that maybe I would love to do it more.  The only problem is that I don't have time or the space for painting now.

Oh well.  I am glad that I have another of my paintings to put in the house.  And I really look forward to going back to C&C to do another one.   :)

(one of my previous paintings)

Sexy outfit

Have you ever had that one outfit that makes you feel like a supermodel?  Even if you're not feeling sexy otherwise?  

I have these jeans and t-shirt that just make me feel like I should be modelling in a catalog.  LOL - jeans and a t-shirt in a catalog????.  I can't help it.  I feel HOT!  Just saying that makes me feel absolutely ridiculous, but.....  The jeans are these great ones for curvy girls from The Gap, and the t-shirt is a cute grey CU almost-baby T.   Why it makes me feel sexy I don't know, but it works. 

Scary

My oldest son tonight told me "Mom, you know the one Harry Potter movie that I don't want to see again?" "Um, No.  What is it?"  "Prisoner of Azkaban."  "Why is that?"  "Because it is too scary"

Meanwhile, we were watching "Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon." 

Apparently the things he is scared of doesn't include robots based on cartoons...

Unsatisfying

You know when you are craving something to eat and when you finally do, it isn't as satisfying as it should have been?  I hate that.  Okay, so part of it is that I am trying to eat better to prep for the 1/2 marathon next month, so I am not eating the most satisfying part. 

I went to make egg salad for lunch.  Used 2 eggs, 1 tbsp of olive oil mayo and a tsp of mustard.  No bread or crackers, just a fork.  I finished and went "crap, that was it!?"  So I ate an apple, which of course did nothing for my craving for bread.  The funny part is that I am not actually doing a South Beach / Atkins kind of diet, but I am afraid that if I do a little that I might go overboard. 

Hopefully it will get better in a few days and I will look and feel better by Sept 22nd.  I know that I am not going to be able to run the whole thing, but if I can give it 110%, then I will be satisfied with my progress, no matter how little. 

I am Wonder Woman!

At least that's what some of my employees tell me....  LOL.  So this weekend I felt like I was, and even my panties said that I was!  My husband and I did the Warrior Dash together this weekend, and while we didn't have a stellar race time, we had a blast doing it.

Yep, that's us, jumping over fire!  I loved it and had the best time!  It is pretty cool too that the day is like a giant party.  Not a party where you have to socialize with everyone, but great music, booths with cool swag or food/beer, people watching, dog watching, contests, and places for the kids to play. We also decided to stay up there in Dillon over night because the kids love staying in a hotel.

We brought up our own photographer, so we got some of the best pictures!  Our friend Josh was talking with James Friday night and mentioned that he wanted to come up and take pictures.  We figured that it would suck for him to drive up there and pay the $20 for parking, so he went up with us and then slept on the fold out couch in our hotel room.  We always have a great time with him, so it was great that he came up.  He is going to run the race with us next year too!

We all dressed alike - yeah, cheesy, I know.  We did it because I wanted to be able to keep track of him and him me just in case we got lost in the crowd.  We chose yellow because it is bright, it's easy to find each other, and it's James' favorite color.  The bonus for me was that I could wear my CU colors and I painted my nails gold/yellow to match, which is always fun.  The bigger bonus was that since we were the only ones in our wave in bright yellow, it was easy for Josh to keep track of us to take pictures.  All my boys look so great in that color too!!! :)

We signed up for the Warrior Dash with James' co-worker/friend Duane and his 15 year old son Jake.  They killed it!  Duane's wife Angela watched our kids while we were doing the race because she had her 9 yr old son there as well.  She is so sweet with the kids, and it was great spending time with their whole family.  They stayed at the same hotel as us, so we went to dinner after we checked in and got cleaned up, and then the boys played in the pool before bed.  I think it's funny that they match and we match in the picture above....

We really enjoyed the whole experience and look forward to doing it again next year.  I loved the obstacles, and despite being a girly-girl, I totally got a kick out of getting muddy.  James already has a couple of friends that want to do it with us next year, and I am hoping that one of my girl friends will be down to get dirty as well!  (unintended innuendo ;P )     Ahhh, better work on running hills! 

Sammich - TMI

My husband and I have found some of the pictures posted to Facebook about "Women should be in the kitchen making a man a sandwich" hilarious. 

So, this morning, after a little intimate time (wink wink), he was getting ready to get up to get in the shower.  I realized that I needed to make my youngest a sandwich for his lunch, and I innocently turned over and asked "Would you like me to make you a sandwich?"  I was totally serious, and he turned to me and busted out laughing.  I thought for a split second and realized what he was laughing at.  We both started cracking up laughing. 

Really????  ;)

Totally Numb

I am from Aurora, CO.  Many people have never heard of our city - that is until 7/20/12.  That was when a psycho man from San Diego went on the worst rampage this state, and possibly this county, has ever seen.  12 people died, and 50+ people were injured.  He surrendered, and I am hoping that some day we will have a few answers as to why this happened.  In the Columbine shootings, we knew fairly quickly why it happened.  But this just seems senseless.  WHY!??

Here is another set of thoughts on this:
http://erikaandlifehappens.blogspot.com/2012/07/a-terrible-tragedy.html?spref=fb
Her thoughts mirror mine and just about everyone else I have talked to about it.  We just don't understand.

I found out about this tragedy via someone I had met a day before.  My company is buying a truck from Dallas Dodge.  On Thursday I spent some time talking to a man named Scott Arnold about the truck, and we also talked about the places we lived.  He mentioned how he loved Denver and how safe it seemed, and how Dallas just wasn't as safe.  When I woke up Friday morning, I started it just like every other day.  I got up, turned on my phone, and crawled in the shower.  I heard that I had a message during my shower, but I didn't check it right away.  When I got out of the shower, I checked my email messages first instead of the voicemail because I wasn't at my desk.  On my personal email, I had a couple of Yahoo emails asking me to write an article about the shootings first hand.  That is my first knowledge of the shootings.  As I was reading that email, I got a call from Scott.  The first thing he asked me was if I was okay, and he said that he had left me a VM already to check on me.  He said he was worried about me because of the news he had just heard.  It was really super sweet of him, given that I had never met him in person and had just talked to him the day before.  Not one person from my company in TX called me or checked on me that day, or even 3 days later - just this man.  I am still amazed by that.  Kind of gives you an idea of how people value you, huh?  Okay, not going to worry, because they're busy enough right now that I wouldn't expect them to read the news or think too clearly about it.  It was really sweet too that a friend from high school checked up on the people he knew that loved movies and lived in Aurora to see if they were okay.   Luckily I woke up late enough that I was able to find out enough about the people I would worry about most early on.  And the person I thought about right away was safe as well.  

I am numb and have no idea how to vocalize how I feel about the situation.  How does anyone in this community come to grips with what happened?  How do we express our grief, our feelings, our thoughts, or our questions?  We can't.  How does our community come back from this?  Is there any way?  Some of the worst tragedies have a way of making a town/city stand out in the mind of our country.  Think Waco, TX - do you know anything about that town except for the siege at the Branch Dividian in 1993?  Is Aurora, CO going to end up like that?  4 days ago, the only city named Aurora that you would remember is Aurora, IL, from Wayne's World fame.  I wish we were famous for that instead of a freak that terrorized a huge city.   I know that the media have made it seem like we are just a small suburb of Denver, but Aurora has almost 350k citizens.  That is huge to me.  It has a higher population than any other suburb of Denver by a large amount.  On a side note, it bothers me that some articles say "Denver, CO" instead of "Aurora, CO".  We are a big city, big enough that it should be recognized!!!! 

My biggest question in all of this comes from being a mom.  How do I discuss this with my children?  I haven't yet.   We had planned to take our kids to the movies this weekend to see the new Ice Age movie and I was afraid that if I told them about the massacre, then they would be afraid to see the movie.  I need to talk to them, I know.  They will find out about it at school in a couple of weeks, no doubt.  But what do I say to them now?  How do I make them feel safe after this?   I am at a loss.  Part of the problem is that I don't know how to deal with my own feelings about it, and if I am crying while talking to them about it, how do I keep them from dealing with it as I have?  There are counselors at several of the high schools in the area to help people deal with it - maybe I should take them there?  I don't know.



Okay, before I break down again, I need to stop talking about it.  I have so much more to say, but this is not the time nor the place.  I am just sad and I don't know how to go about my daily duties.  I am hoping that happy times are close and that as a community we start to rebound. And I hope that I can start to get my mind off of it soon.

I am afraid that my life is more affected by it than I previously thought.

Frumpster?

I went to the grocery store yesterday with wet hair....

That one statement should be enough to shock me into doing something with myself, but it hasn't!  8+ years ago, I wouldn't have even walked out my front door to get the paper with wet hair or no makeup on.  Now, it seems like I don't have the motivation to do anything with myself.  Have I gotten myself into a rut?  I stay at home all day with the kids and people other than them and my husband rarely see me.  I feel a bit like "if no one cares what I look like, why should I care myself?"  I do take a shower everyday, brush my teeth, and I put on mascara and eyeliner.  But most of the time, I can't see sitting under the blow dryer for 10 minutes to make my hair straight, or doing all of my makeup just for my kids.  Blow drying my hair just damages it, and why would I do that if it doesn't make a difference?  And my makeup will last so much longer if I don't put it on to impress no one. 

That got me thinking about when I used to watch TLC's "What Not to Wear".  That was years ago, and I always looked at what the women were wearing thinking "Why would you let yourself go like that?!"  Everyone had their own reasons for it, but I never understood it until now. 

I feel really bad for my husband, though he wouldn't ever say anything about it.  He always says he likes me best in my little black workout shorts or yoga pants and my hair in a pony tail.  He doesn't ever say "Are you going to wear that out?" - because that is more of a girl thing to say I guess.  But I worry that I am not enough of the girl that I used to be to hold his interest.

We really don't ever go anywhere that I would need to dress up.  We spend so much time with the boys or at the gym that I have just gotten used to not doing anything with myself.  If the first place I leave the house to go to during the day is the gym, then why shouldn't I just put on my gym clothes first thing in the morning?  If my hair is just going to be in a pony tail, then why should I do anything with my hair earlier in the day? 

Have you ever gotten yourself into a rut like that?  I am not sure what to do about it, if I should do anything. 

Any thoughts?

My Husband, the comedian

I am sitting on the couch watching AGT and reading the new Maxim.  I just finished reading the interviews with Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, and Colin Farrell on their new movie, the Total Recall remake.  In the article, they ask Kate something about how fans are excited about three-breasted women.  So, James and I start talking about three-breasted women.  James said "How could you not like 3 boobs?!?!"  So I said " I love boobs too, but I like just 2.  They're symmetrical - there are 2 of them.  How do you grab the third one then?"   Okay, so I am making some pretty funny hand gestures at this moment as well, but you kind of have to be there to get the effect, right?    Anyway.....   So, right on cue, he says "Just like THIS!"  And sticks out both hands as if he is grabbing some tits and puts his face right in the middle with a sucking-kind-of look.    
I cracked up laughing, as I am sure that most people would after witnessing it.  These are the kinds of conversations that we have almost nightly, which would explain the horrible laugh lines I seem to be getting lately. 

Accident prone

That is the most mild way of putting my bad habit of falling, tripping, bruising, and otherwise creating issues for myself.  It has been a running joke in my family for many years, as most of them are the same way.  I usually have several bruises about my body that I have no clue where they came from.  I try not to, but shit just seems to happen! 

This afternoon, I went out to the garage to put something in the recycling bin and stepped on something little.  I just assumed it was a small stone or dirt or something, so I rubbed the bottom of my right foot on the top of my left foot to get whatever it was off.  As I did it, I had a sharp searing pain in my left foot.  The thing came off and there was a little white mark on my foot, but I didn't see what it was.  I walked back into the house, sat down at the table to see what happened and there was little drops of blood all over the little inch long cut.  Apparently when I dropped a bottle out of the recycling bins about a month and a half ago, I didn't get all of the glass swept up off the floor.  There was a tiny flat piece of glass that I had stepped on and when I went to rub it off, it sliced my foot.

Needless to say, my foot hurts like hell from the stupid dirty shard of glass.  I feel like a complete idiot, but I am glad that it was me that was hurt by it and not one of the boys.  Then I would feel horribly guilty on top of being an idiot.  I am really hoping it will heal up a little by tomorrow so that I can wear shoes. 

My otter pillow

My husband got me a body pillow with a fluffy cream colored case when we got back from our vacation.  Last night/this morning, I had a dream that I had an otter as a pet. He followed me around because I was "happy", and apparently in my dream otters are attracted to happy people.  I figured out that when I was petting my pet otter in my dream, I was really just cuddled up with my body pillow.  It is amazing how the things in your dreams and in real life coincide.

4th of July, Pillows, boobs, and other stuff

Just  few thoughts I wanted to write down for now. 

• 4th of July - It doesn't seem like a holiday today.  I don't know if it is because it's the middle of the week or if it's because we don't have a real plan for the day.  No fireworks across the state kind of sucks.  There are a few around the metro area, but we wouldn't know where to watch it from and the ones that are actually still happening are going to be packed!!!!   Not that we didn't do anything all day.  We went to the gym this morning, went to James' mom's work for their annual BBQ, came home and took a nap, washed cars, played in the pool, and made ribs and corn for dinner.
• While we were in Cancun, our room/bed had a huge body pillow that I fell in love with.  When we got home, James went out and bought me a small body pillow with a fluffy pillow case.  I love that one too, but it tends to be too hot.  Anyway.  So, sometimes, he grabs the pillow and "invites" me to join him with the pillow.  We have been calling it a "menage pillow".  Sometimes we just chuck that idea out the window, but it is fun sometimes to cuddle with the body pillow.  
• I am still jealous of girls with bigger boobs than me.  I have some nice boobs - C's aren't that bad, but when you spend time with someone with double D's or bigger, it gives you a little bit of a complex.  Especially if they have their ample amount of cleavage showing the whole time and every man in a 50 yard radius has their eyes glued to them.  
• My husband bought wireless headphones and now can use them to listen to the tv instead of the kids.  I am kind of jealous of that too!  Aaron tends to talk through every movie we watch, regardless if he wants to watch it or not.  And Dylan asks questions about every movie even if he knows that we haven't seen the movie either.  
•  



My weird battery pain patch

•  I have been going to physical therapy for a few weeks now, and I had a new therapist yesterday.  He was a guy, so I should have been expecting more pain, but I didn't.  When he was massaging my calf and ankle, he was pushing so hard that it was good he couldn't see my face.  He had me pick up a tub full of little marbles with my toes 3 times to strengthen my feet.  and at the end, he put that pain patch on me.  He said that the battery in it will push the anti inflammatory medicine into my ankle, and it would only feel like little pricks for a few minutes.  BULLSHIT!  It hurt so bad the whole 2 hours it was on my foot!  I am really sick of physical therapy.
• I  am dying to get back to running!  I was supposed to start training for the half marathon on Monday, but I still haven't been given the okay to start.  I have a feeling that I will be running and walking the half marathon in September.  I still want to do it though.  We'll see.  
• James thinks it's funny that I haven't been given the okay to run yet, and still I am starting a training for the half.  But the Warrior Dash is up first, in August, and he thinks I should be more worried about that right now.  I am not worried about it - is that bad????  I can run 3 miles, no problem.  The obstacles will be new but really, how am I supposed to train for those?  So, I am just taking that all in stride and hoping that my working out will help me prepare for whatever comes at us.  
• Getting older - I know that we need to start watching what we do and say now that the boys are getting older, but it is pretty difficult.  When you have been living your life the way you want, it is tough to then stop all of that in order to teach your kids.  Some of the things the kids say is both funny and not at the same time. 

As a parent....

TMI ALERT! 
I had to laugh tonight about how being a parent affects your sex life.

We put the kids to bed about 45 minutes ago, and I put on a fairly alluring little outfit.  It is a VS "maid" lingerie - I bought it for Valentines Day over 3 years ago, and now it is one of their best selling lingerie, sold in several different colors.  Wow, a little left turn there....  Anyway.  So, I crawled up on my husbands lap in his recliner and started kissing him seductively (see, I warned you about TMI).  It was really quiet except for our moans/sighs and then I heard the kids making noise from their bedroom.  I stopped and yelled "Boys, get to bed!"  Then we both looked at each other and laughed.  It is amazing the things you have to deal with as a parent. We weren't even in bed or getting really intimate when they interrupted.  Being a parent and also a married couple takes great balance, something that we have yet to figure out, even after 10 years.  I know that every couple goes through highs and lows, and every couple is different.  But I am dying to know how people balance being over-sensual or over-sexual with being a parent.  I am afraid that my kids are getting old enough to understand how much we touch each other.  Will that affect them greatly?  Will they understand later that it is how a couple in love acts, not just a couple?  Will it help them later in life knowing that they can have what their parents have in love?  I never know.  It is a difficult line to tow, and there is no manual for parents. 

Another couple of random thoughts....

Some days I have tons of thoughts to share, or I have saved them all up for one big blog...

• Ever feel like you can't shut the hell up?  Like you have diarrhea of the mouth?  Some days I talk to someone and I just can't shut up.  Today I found myself doing that with a friend I haven't really talked to in a while.   I was used to talking to her almost every day, but I haven't had a good conversation with her in a couple of weeks.  She came to bring me mail and work stuff, and I found myself running off at the mouth.  I miss talking to her all the time.
• Speaking of, I am having a difficult time dealing with friends that have moved away from our street.  My girl friend left a few months ago and her husband has been waiting to leave for a year abroad with the Air Force.  Then they are moving to Germany for 3 years.  I miss her tons, but I struggle with knowing what to email her about.  I just don't know what to say.  I feel like I need to say a million things, but I feel like she has her own life away from here, so does she miss me/us?  I see her posts on FB, so I know how things are going.  But I really do miss hanging out with her.  I miss her kids too, and I miss her husband.  He just moved out this week and it is weird knowing that he isn't there anymore.  I loved talking and hanging out with him, but it seemed a little inappropriate once his wife wasn't here anymore.  Not sure why though.  It is making me sad that my friends are gone.  I haven't had to deal with this before.  I guess that is what you have to expect when you live so close to a military base. 
• I love erotic photography, but I have discovered that it makes me feel pretty bad about myself.  The women are almost always super thin, huge boobs, evenly tanned, no body hari, perfect makeup, etc.  I want to take those picture myself, but I know that once I do, I will feel ashamed that I don't look like them.  I discovered that I still have a long way to go in my effort to not compare myself to others. 
• And on a different note - I am amazed that both of my kids are over the age of 5.  In a month and a half, they will both be in elementary school.  I am trying not to over-analyze it or get too sentimental.  I will wait until Aaron's first day of kindergarten to do that.  But I am still becoming a little more nostalgic these days.  Plus, my 8 year old never ceases to amaze me by how mature he is! 
• I finished reading Born to Run and I loved it.  I even teared up after Chris finished the race at the end and all of the townspeople and racers were there cheering for him.  I keep thinking about how I keep getting injured and wonder if I should start running barefoot.  I think that once I finish with my horribly painful yet apparently necessary physical therapy, I will try to start running barefoot through the park a few days a week.  I wonder if that will help me.  
• I am now reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  I have a lot of issues with the books, although I am completely hooked.  1) they are a romanticized version of BDSM.  2) they are written by a woman who hasn't had a man dominate her - completely obvious.  The way Christian's lines are written are "how a woman wants a man to talk to her" and not how a real man talks to a woman.  3) her use of vocabulary is laughable.  4) A thesaurus would help her out immensely.  I am annoyed that she uses the same large words over and over again.  When you put seldomly used words into your writing, it is readily apparent when you use them again and again.  Especially in the same paragraph! 

Those are a few of the things I have been thinking lately and thought I would share.  

PT

Went to my first physical therapy appointment today, and while it hurt, it was also helpful.  I saw both a physical therapist and a student.  They were both really nice, which helped ease the tension I felt about being in a huge room with a bunch of others doing their therapy.  I didn't mind the big room though because I could still see the boys in the waiting room. 
I found out that the swelling in my right ankle and calf also was effecting my achilles and the bottom of my foot.  And as the student was massaging the areas, I also discovered that my calf was sore.  That was a bit weird....  I was pleased to find out though that the strength and agility is the same in both legs.  And, I got a weird since of confidence when they were talking about how my muscles were that of a runner.  I don't have runner's legs - they aren't slim and sinewy like the other runners I usually see.  But I was glad that I am transforming them below the surface.  Now if I can only get the fat and cellulite to go away, they might look a little better.
I was a little disheartened by the fact that I haven't been given a full green light to start working out again.  I knew that they wouldn't want me running yet - apparently the swelling is worse than the doctor led me to believe and it could do more damage if I started back.  I was hoping that they would say "go ahead with the elliptical", but nope.  They were okay with swimming, and the stationary bike would be okay too if it doesn't hurt too much.  I can lift weights too, but I can't really do that every day.  Kind of sucks.  Hopefully soon!  They seemed to be okay with getting me back to running as quickly as possible so that I can start training for the half marathon.  I have a feeling that I will have to walk along with running during the half, but for right now, I am okay with it. 
I got home with a list of excercises and stretches to do, and some massage techniques that should help with the swelling as well.  I also got home with a lot of pain, so I immediately put my leg in an ice bath, which did help.  I am going to be good and do my "homework" so that I can get back to my old self as soon as possible.  I am starting to get grumpy without my workouts!   :)

Falling Apart!

I feel like I am falling apart - and I only have shin splints and tendonitis!  I am a freak, right?  I am reading Born To Run right now, and a lot of it has to do with Chris McDougall trying to find his way to run.  He felt like he was getting injured all the time because he wasn't meant to run.  But it turns out that we were BORN TO RUN!  Well, maybe not me.  I have been feeling like that for a few weeks now.  I did my first 10k race on Memorial Day, and I have been having problems with my right ankle/calf since then.  Walking through the airport, through the mall, in the sand, and through the hotel.   I talked to a doctor a couple of days after I got back, and he said he thought it was tendonitis in my right ankle.  He put me on a Rx anti-inflamatory medicine and told me to go see a sport medicine doc.

I saw him today, and he said that I have tendonitis and shin splints.  I have to see a physical therapist, get new shoes, and do ice water baths a couple of times a day.  He seemed like he took an interest in me, asking me all kinds of questions unrelated to the injury.  He talked to my kids as well, which helped me ease up a little.  I was worried.  I have to start training for the half marathon in a week and a half, so how I am supposed to do that while injured????  I had to laugh though, he was asking about my shoes, my running, and when I started to run.  Then he said "why did you start running?"  All I could think of at the time was "Because I wanted to!". He laughed of course, but really, why does anyone start running?  They want to - because of health, meditation, relaxation, alone time, etc.  You have to want one of the benefits of running to go do it, don't you? 

Ice baths - I always thought they were for marathoners or ultra runners.  But he said I needed to ice my right leg up to almost my knee a couple of times a day for 15 minutes at a time.  This was funny though - he told me that I would probably not make it to even 10 minutes.  He said that the first little bit was okay, but between 8-10 minutes I would be struggling to keep my foot in.  If I could make it through the 10 minutes, then my foot would go numb and the 15 minutes wouldn't be a problem.  Challenge Accepted Dr. Genuario.  It sucked, but I made it through tonight.  Partly because he hurt me so badly while he was examining me this morning that no amount of medication could take away that pain. 

So, I am feeling positive by the fact that it is only shin splints, and that is the most common running injury out there.  I have an appt with the physical therapist tomorrow morning, and I hope that she has good new for me.  I want to start running again.  I want to start training again.  I want to get off my fat ass and get back to being the active girl I was 3 weeks ago!  I know that the heat is a big factor and that the 100 degree temperatures aren't helping, but I have high hope that I will be back to my old self again. 

I wore my Bolder Boulder shirt today, and in the mail today came my stats from the Bolder Boulder.  So really, there is a force out there telling me to get back in to the swing of my regular workouts.  I can't wait to get back out there and prove that I have what it takes to make it!  2 months before the Warrior Dash and 3 months until the half marathon.   I need to be better fast, but really, I am trying to be as patient as possible. 

Soda vs Pop

Do you call it SODA or POP? 
When I was growing up, I called it pop.  "Mom, can I have a pop?"  If you just wanted a cola, it was always Coke, but when we wanted to get a carbonated beverage of any kind, it was POP!
I don't know when it started or with whom, but I have switched to SODA!  What????  James said that he called it soda before he met me, and now he calls it pop.  I think that there had to have been someone else to influence my Soda conversion, because I say it like I have an accent.  I can't tell where the accent is from, but I say it "Soooda". 
Things that make you go "hmmmmm?". 

Star Struck

I am such a nerd, but I can be so star struck when I see a person or place I know on TV.
A couple of my cool things lately:

1. One of Dylan's favorite teachers at freerunning school is going to be an extra in the new The Lone Ranger movie with Johnny Depp.  They are filming part of the movie in Colorado, and he is going to be "China Man #56".  We have to watch it, just to see if we can see him.  That is so exciting!
2. On American Ninja Warrior, 7 of the athletes from Dylan's freerunning school are competing, which is awesome!  And the owner of Apex Movement, Ryan Ford, has been seen several times on the sideline.  For me it is cool because just a couple of weeks ago, we got to watch Ryan teach a class for level 1 instructors while Dylan's youth class was going on.  I wanted to watch sooooo bad, but I felt like it was a bit of an intrusion.  So, I looked occasionally, and I was in awe the whole time.  These people are so fit and light on their feet that I can't seem to get enough. 

Okay, that is about the extent of my "brush with celebrity".  But I always feel like I would be that one fan that would be staring at the star going "humina, humina, humina...."
 :)

A Car Girl

I am such a car girl!  I went out to move the water tonight, and I heard a car.  And not just any car, it sounded like a muscle car or a race car.  It really reminded me of when I was little and my Dad would be working on his race car in the garage outside my bedroom window.  Even during the summer I had a bedtime, but my Dad would stay outside working until well past my bedtime.  I don't know if he knew I was watching, but I would gaze out my window until well after the sun went down, taking in every little thing they were doing.  I have also loved old muscle cars for as long as I can remember.  The deep rumble of a classic engine is orgasmic!  Yep....  TMI I am sure.  Anyway... As soon as I finished with the water, I ran through the house and out the front door.  I had to find out what car made that sound!  James was hot on my heels, having heard just a little of the rumble when I came back through.  We found it, sort of.  It looked like an old black 80's Camaro.  It was in a garage so we couldn't get that close of a look. 
I had to laugh at how others know my love of cars.  My sister and her family are in CA visiting Disneyland, and she texted me a picture of the black Ferrari that they parked next to at the beach!  She said I would love it out there, with all of the cool cars.  Yep, that's me!   

HU - still Hip

We were on our way home tonight from James' parents house and a car pulls up next to us....  It is an older ghetto kind of car with a young driver and passengers.  They were blasting a Hollywood Undead song at top volume like they thought they were cool.  James turns to me, says "Hollywood Undead."   We turned on the same H.U. song as they had on, and I just wanted to yell out the window "Hey, we like them too, and we are an aging couple with 2 kids!  How cool are they now!?!?!??!"   Not that it would have made a difference.  But I love when kids thing they are "the shit!" when I, a thirty-something mom, is listening to the same thing, wearing the same brand, doing the same thing, etc.....  Not that I am old and listening to "hits of the 80's" all the time, but I remember back to when I was 16.... I would have been mortified if I was listening to something I thought was cool and "an old chick was listening to the same thing!".   Just my thoughts tonight....

video games

We have been watching the 100 BEST VIDEO GAMES on G4 - they are only on pat 2 of 5, but I am realizing how much of a girl I really was.  Sometimes I look back and think that all I wanted to do was play the Nintendo, but now I know that I didn't play hardly any video games!  I can only remember a few games I played - Mario, Mario 3, Dr. Mario, Tetris (the best!), Duck Hunt, and Excite Bike.  But James can tell you almost any game they are talking about before they reveal the actual game, no matter how old it is.  That is amazing!  With the exception of Tetris, which I would play for hours on end with my dad, or Dr. Mario that I played with my mom, I was usually the girl in the back watching all of the guys play. 
Now I don't feel like such a geek!  Crap, that puts me even further behind the males in my household...

Train Wreck

Have you ever started out thinking one thing, catch yourself thinking about something totally different at the end, and then try to retrace your train of thought?  I do that, A LOT!  Or I will be thinking something and have an odd look on my face, James will ask me what I am thinking about, and when I tell him, he says "How did you end up thinking about that???"  Then I actually have to tell him how I got from point A to point WEIRD THOUGHT. 

Well, we were laying in bed last night, and he started laughing and told me about a small random thought train of his own.  So I said something like "You have random trains of thought too!"  So he says "I have as many as you, I just don't tell people about them like you do."  And then he proceeds to say something along the line of - It's better to keep your mouth closed and have people just think you're weird then to talk and have them KNOW you're weird.  So, that got me thinking about being weird, and I will share a bit of my train of thought and tell you how I finally got to thinking about playing football with John Elway. 

1. Started out thinking about being weird, and how I tried to be normal for so long that my weirdness seems so much worse. 
2. That got me thinking about pearls of marriage wisdom.
3. That led to thinking about working out with James and how nice it is.
4. Which led to me thinking about what I am going to do at the gym tonight since I can't run for a while.
5. So then I started thinking about getting on the elliptical, and I can get some reading done in Born to Run.
6. Which then led to me thinking about how I was at the place in the book with Scott Jurek and how Amanda's husband got to run with him Monday night (so cool!)
7. Which made me think about how Amanda must have felt about having to stay home with the kids when both she and her husband wanted to meet him and run with him. 
8. Then I thought about what James and I would have in common like that.   I think it would be akin to my getting to go interview Kevin Smith while James stayed at home.
9. So I started wondering if there was something I would be envious of if James got to do that I didn't.  Which led to my thought of him getting to go meet John Elway.  But it wouldn't be just meet - like Amanda's hubby got to RUN WITH SCOTT!  So it would be if James got to go play football with John Elway!  Ooooh, I would be super jealous.
10. Then, I started thinking about my getting to throw a ball around with John Elway.  Would I be able to catch a ball thrown by him, or would I make a fool out of myself? 
11. Then that made me think about my stupid ankle, and I realized that it was throbbing and really hot.  So I stretched my feet out in the bed to find a cool spot to rest my ankle, and that was when I found a pair of panties at the bottom....
12. AND THAT IS WHERE THE THOUGHT TRAIN WRECK HAPPENED!   Ahhh, the end of it.  Then I was just wondering about the panties.....

So, there you go.  My weird train of thought. 

Hope you enjoyed the journey......  :)

Pete the Cat

If you haven't heard of the Pete the Cat books for kids, they are great books to look into.  They come with free downloadable songs @ harpercollinschildrens.com. 
Aaron's teacher in preschool had Pete the Cat: I love my white shoes.  The kids learned the book and then would all sing along with the song, at high volume.  It was adorable! 
I imposed a "1 hour of books a day" rule for summer vacation, and so Aaron is sitting behind me listening to the 2 Pete the Cat books we have, looking at them, singning along with the songs, and dancing around.  It is pretty awesome. 

missing the water

I must be missing the ocean and pools this morning.  I found myself in the shower after 20 minutes just standing there daydreaming. 

OCD

We put the pool up in the backyard this week, and after one day with kids in it, it was already filled with grass.  Not to mention the cover from a kick pad that had disintegrated in there.  James was using the cleaner on the bottom and I was using the skimmer for the top, but when I start, I just can't stop. 
James - "It's relaxing, isn't it?"
Becki - "Not relaxing, just OCD."
It's one of those things that I just can't stop doing until it is actually clean.  It isn't like cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming - you can actually see what is still in there!  I could be out there for hours in the hot sun trying to get the last little bit of grass or whatever out.  IT SUCKS!

A bed just for us....

Here is the TMI that I left out of my anniversary bog, but you know, I have to share the funny stuff.

We were having "relations" this afternoon, and I couldn't help but laugh at the difference between sex at home and sex on vacation.  While we were getting into it, our pug Dobby jumped up on the bed to find out what we were doing.  Nothing like dog breath and bug eyes watching to heat up the mood, huh?  Then, Draco (our other dog) started putting his dog toy up on the bed next to us, waiting for us to throw it for him.  We have cats that are usually laying at the bottom of the bed, or they lay down on the pillow next to us, just waiting for us to finish so we can pet them.  In addition to the dogs, there are kid noises also to contend with, and trying to be quiet so that they don't hear.  Nothing kills your mojo more than a knock at the bedroom door and a "Mom?"

It was funny to me though, because even though our vacation sex wasn't "knock the bed against the wall, loud enough to cause a disturbance, doing it on every surface of the room", it seemed like the best ever because we were ALONE!   There was nothing to worry about but ourselves, which is what aids in intimacy. 

It wasn't just being by ourselves for sex - sleeping was great too.  There were no dogs snoring, cats meowing, animals sleeping on the bed, dogs whining to go outside first thing in the morning, kids thundering through the house.  I am sure some people take advantage of having a quiet house.  But, while I did enjoy the quiet for the 5 days, I am happy to be home with all of my noise and chaos. 

SO WRONG!

Here is the conversation I JUST had with my 8 year old, who is currently eating a Drumstick.
Dylan - You know what I hate when eating an ice cream cone with a crack?  it leaks out the crack when you try to lick the top.
Me - Well, you just have to learn how to eat it.  Lick the top, lick the crack, lick the top, lick the crack, just like that so it doesn't drip out.
Dylan - I have 2 cracks though...
Me - Well, then lick each crack after you lick the top.

All the while James is staring at me with this bewildered look on his face.  It was hilarious!

Our 10 yr anniversary trip

I know, this isn't random thoughts like the title suggests, but really, how many are???  :)

Our 10 year anniversary was on June 1st, and we decided to take a trip by ourselves to an adult all-inclusive resort in Cancun.  It was called Aqua Live - we highly recommend it!  If you are looking for a truly relaxing vacation, this is it!  It was wonderful.  Okay, I tried to think of how to best put all of my thoughts and experiences into a good blog, as I have so much to say!  6 days worth of thoughts is hard to condense.  I wrote down all of things I wanted to remember onto a piece of hotel stationary.  But HOW do I write it down for you?  Okay, here goes, and if I hate it, I guess I can always edit, right?

• We almost missed the plane there!  How does that happen?????  We got to the airport really early and right through security to the gate.  It was early, so we went to have a bagel and beer at the lounge right next to our gate.  It didn't take us long, but neither of us wears a watch.  OOOPPS!  We were looking at sunglasses 1 gate away when James heard our names announced as a last call.  Well, at least we made it, right?!?!?
• When you walk into the hotel, it smells a bit like eucalyptus.  It is just a relaxing, welcoming kind of odor.  And when you are checking in, they have the most amazing sweet green tea for you to drink.  There is a really cool little water feature in the lobby, but every time I walked through, I thought I was going to walk right into it!  
• I put on my first real bikini on our first day, and I felt great!  I look back at the pictures now and hate the way I look, but I was actually confident there.  My cute pink and white suit was cute, and I was so excited to get into the ocean and play in the waves that it didn't occur to me to be self-conscious.  I am like a kid in a candy store in the waves!  It was tough to tear me away.
• Our anniversary was on the 2nd day, and honestly, it was nice to get it done with.  We got to plan it right away, enjoy it, and not worry about it the rest of the time.  But we had the best time, rain and all.  We worked out in the morning, had breakfast, and then went to the beach.  Then we had the only real nap of our vacation, which was really nice!  After that, we went down to the "adult pool".  It was the temperature of a cool hot tub, there was hardly anyone there, it is fairly small, and it is the only pool with a bar in the pool.  TONS MORE TO SAY ABOUT THAT DAY, BEWARE!  The adult pool was funny!  We met a really cool older lesbian couple from Alabama there and talked to them for probably a half an hour.  Then, as the rain came in, the pool filled up with a bunch southern people.  The girls were funny - they were trying to teach me how to be and drink like a southern belle.  And then these guys were amazed at my husbands nipple rings.  It was a trip and a half!  And +3
• I thought it was funny that they were all into sharing drinks, no matter who it was with.  They taught me about Scooby Doo shots and CC & Sprite.  One of the funniest part was when James pointed out a couple having angry sex in the other side of the pool in the rain.  Mind you, it was a small circular pool and they weren't very far from us. The VERY BEST PART was that while we were drinking and waiting out the rain, OUR SONG was played through the speakers.  We rarely hear it, and it was played there, on our anniversary!  BTW, it was KC and JoJo All My Life. 
• For dinner, we made reservations as Inlaakech.  It was an all-you-can-eat steak and lobster intimate restaurant.  We were the only ones there for a while, which was nice.  The service was phenomenal.  The food was incredible!  James had a tomato cappuccino for starter, and then Lobster and Filet Mignon for an entree.  I had a berry and blue cheese salad for a starter, and then Lobster and a Kobe Beef burger patty for dinner.  Then they brought us a chocolate cheesecake covered in nonpareils and a white chocolate triangle that said "Happy Anniversary.  It was amazing, every single little bit of it.  
• It is amazing how confident some girls can be.  There were several girls wearing thongs on the beach!  One was the girl having sex in the pool, so that is self-explanatory.  Another was a girl that looked about 22 years old with a 50+ year old man, she obviously had implants, they were foreign, and he was SOOO her sugar daddy.
• There were the coolest birds flying over the resort.  We called them the pterodactyls, but we honestly have no clue what they were, but they hovered over the pools and beach the whole time.  It was cool.  
• It is amazing how you can only put your feet in the sand and then end up with sand in places you never knew possible!  Just playing in the ocean put sand in all kinds of different cracks.  I couldn't help but think of the South Park when Cartman kept referencing Dect. Sandy Vagina.  
• It is hurricane season down in Cancun right now, so the weather wasn't that great.  It rained quite a lot, and it was windy the whole time.  That kept people off the beach and out of the pool.  
• There were people that were running on the beach that I was in awe of.  Some ran in shoe, some barefoot.  Some with MP3 players and some without music.  Some ran in the lower sand near the beach where it was stiffer, and some ran where the sand was nice and soft.  But they are all badass for running on the beach!  Wow.
• We were across the street from the mall.  James found a new pair of sunglasses at Oakley that are yellow with "transformer lenses".  They look very sexy!   We had some Cold Stone ice cream.  And we found the funniest glasses ever!  Shot glasses, corona glasses, and even magnets had the most perverted people sculptures on them!  Some where just men with their dicks hanging out, some were having sex, and some were in 69.  But all you had to really look close to figure them out, which made me feel more like a pervert!
• Our last night for dinner, we went to Siete.  That night they had Mexican food by the menu and an Italian buffet.  James had Italian, and I had Mexican.  The most memorable part was the waiter, Jose.  He was great!  Enjoyed talking to us, helping us, and just "servicing" us.  And then he made us "flaming coffees".  One was rimmed with cherry and the other with chocolate.  Then there are like 5 different liquors that he mixes, sets on fire, mixes together while flaming, and then pours into the coffee glasses.  It tasted great too!

That was a wonderful vacation!  I know, long blog entry, but I couldn't help but to put it all in there.  I left out all of the mushy stuff, so you just got all of the details without the TMI.  

I hope that our next 10 years is just as great as our 1st, and that our next trips just get better and better.