underwear

When I was at my heaviest 3 years ago, I wore the same size underwear as I do now.  And I know that the difference between my weight then and now isn't that big, but i went from a size 14 to a size 8.  You would think that I would have gone down a size on the underwear too, right?  But noooooo.
So, I was putting away James' underwear today and realized how much smaller his underwear look now.  It made me think - holy cow, why hasn't my underwear gotten smaller too????  

time away

This is for my married friends or attached friends.  This is a TMI post, and I am sure my hubby would not be happy with me, but I had to put it out there.  When your spouse takes a lot of time in the bathroom, have you ever wondered if they are in there masturbating?  I know - RANDOM!  But with new technology and people taking their phones and tablets into the bathroom with them, there are all kinds of things that they could be doing in there.  One of my thoughts when I heard how horny he was and how not horny I am (we are sick, that's why), I thought "I wonder if he is in there jerking off?" 
Yep, random thought.  Nothing I am going to do about it but just wonder.  :)

being sick

I am sick, and I hate it.  LOL - who on earth would actually say "I'm sick and I love it!!!!"  Well, I guess if I had the flu and was trying to lose a few pounds quickly, that would work out well.  You wanna know what sucks the most?  My husband is sick as well.  Now, most people would think "That's good, at least you aren't worried that you will get the other person sick!"  Hell no, didn't think that.  We both were thinking "We both feel like shit and have 2 kids to take care of.  This sucks!"  I feel like crap, and another bad thing is that I already work from home, so it isn't like I can call in sick.  And it makes me feel even worse that I have employees that are sick but they are working 12-16 hour days 7 days a week, and I can't do anything to give them a little time off to rest up.  Now I feel like a bitch complaining or feeling sorry for myself. 

reading between the lines

When you know someone and they say or write something that you know means something else, don't you want to call them on it?  Like "Whatever, you know that's not what you wanted to say!  What you really meant was..."  Seriously.  I wonder if people think the same thing about me.......

Jealousy

You would think that jealousy is a human emotion, but I have learned that dogs and cats get really jealous.  I didn't realize it until May of last year.  We got a pug - Dobby.  He had lived with other dogs and cats, but the girl we got him from didn't mention he tended to be territorial.  Well, he is.  When we got him, he was instantly MINE.  He decided he was my dog and I was his human.  Period, end of story.  So, when I would pet Draco, or either of the cats, he would bark at them.  And speaking of, he still does it!  James was playing tug with Draco tonight and Dobby kept barking his silly weird bark at them.  It's funny, but also sort of annoying.  It causes fights between the dogs, which I HATE!  And I noticed yesterday that Draco has jealous tendencies now too!  Dobby was laying in his bed right next to my desk and he looked so cute that I started rubbing his ears.  As soon as I did that, Draco came over and started moving my arm away with his nose.  We have 4 animals and they all tend to be mommy-centric.  Wherever I go, they go.  I AM NEVER ALONE!  Even when I go into the bathroom and shut the door, I get one or more of them pushing on the door to try to get in, or I get a cat paw under the door.  Ahhh, come on! 

Hairy Balls

I had the funniest conversation with my 4 year old today.  I picked him up from preschool and on the way home, he started telling me about the hairy balls that they have in class.  I had to ask him a lot of questions, and I still don't understand.  Here is what I sort of understand:
1 - The kids get a small or big hairy ball during story time.
2 - If they are good during story time, they get to put their hairy ball in a jar.
3 - When the jar is filled with hairy balls, they get to have a pajama party. 
It sounds like a really dirty conversation but it is totally legit!  I will have to see on Friday when I go in for parent day how the jar actually works.  I don't really understand it, but it was the best conversation I have had in a long time.  Trying not to laugh at the things he said made everything he said even more funny!!!!

wedding dress

Oh yeah, forgot another one.  I got into my wedding dress this evening!  Not a big accomplishment for some, I know.  But for me, it is huge!  After 2 kids and a back surgery, I don't know how I got back into it.  Now, I confess it was a big tighter on the skirt than before, yeah.  But it still zipped all the way up, and hooked!  I am so excited!  It shouldn't fit the same way it did before, and I am well aware of that.   After kids, I have big hips, a big tummy, and a big ass.  they are a badge of honor of being a mom.  But after working out so much, running, lifting weights, etc, it is pretty cool that I can see my work pay off.  Whoo Hoo!

A lot....

So, my ideas of random thoughts pop up all of the time, but I am rarely at a point where I can blog about them.  Here are some things I have thought about.....

If I could be invisible for a day, I would go find out things that guys do.  The stuff they talk about with their friends - "We don't really talk about anything!"  Yeah, right?!  I want to go into guys bathrooms and locker rooms so see what they are like.  Yeah, Yeah, I know, you all are thinking "She just wants to check out guys...."  Yeah, I do.  I want to find out how guys use urinals - we don't have them, so they fascinate me.  I want to see how guys act when they go in there, how the layout is, how many use the stalls vs. the urinals, and how many of them really wash their hands.  I would ride in cars with them.  Get in their heads to hear what they are thinking.  LOL - like the movie "What Women Want", but instead, "What Men Want". 

Was I really ever so young and dumb that I would walk around outside when it is 16 degrees outside without a coat in a short sleeved t-shirt????  Teenagers seem so dumb to me now.

I really did want to run the Cupid's Undie Run this past weekend.  Now, I am not an exhibitionist, but I think it would be a ton of fun to watch all of those who are.  The guys in banana hammocks or boxers that you know they bought special for it.  The girls that bought outfits that flatter them, but then won't mind if later they are left at the random guys house that they met at the bar after the run.  I am sure that I had no business going.  It was probably just for a bunch of single people looking to do something good for charity, fun for themselves, and meet other hot single people.  But I really wanted to do it just to say "I ran through downtown Denver in my skivvies!"  One of those things that I know I am going to regret not doing in 10 years.

my random vs others random

My random thoughts are just that - thoughts.  If I speak them out loud, then people usually just laugh at me and go on their merry way.  But I have noticed that other peoples random thoughts aren't just thoughts at all.  They are just a way to start an argument.  Why do that?  Doesn't it seem like a dumb thing to do - start an argument about NOTHING!  Why put all of that pressure on yourself, or others?