Dirty math problem

This is a dirty math problem that I started thinking about while laying in bed one morning - see, random thoughts.
A guy has to be to work at 8 am.  It takes him between 25 and 30 minutes to get to work on an average morning.  It take him 5 minutes to get dressed/ready and another 5 minutes to make his lunch.  It then takes him 5-10 minutes to get his breakfast eaten and get out the door.  When should he set his alarm for, taking into consideration that he normally wakes up with morning wood and needs to take care of that before he gets out of bed? 
And, if he forgets to set his alarm and wakes up at sat, 7:25, what does decide to not do in the morning or rush doing?  Brush his teeth while peeing?  Take breakfast to go and go out for lunch?  Jerk off at work?  Or does he just stay in bed, do his thing, and take the chance of getting to work late?
I was reading an article in Glamour this month that says something like 31% of men that took this survey have masterbated at work.  That seemed pretty shocking to me.  Where do these guys work that they could get away with it?  Are they big-wigs that can shut and lock their office doors?  Is there a private bathroom or shower?   I can see it happening, but that number just seemed higher to me than I would have thought.