A man and wife

1. A couple were watching tv one night when the husband got up to hit the john. While he was in there, he yelled "Man, they're huge tonight!"   He walked out of the bathroom, pants still down, showing the groomed goods to his wife.  Out of the blue, the started swinging his pelvis back and forth, singing "I whip my balls back and forth, I whip my balls back and forth, I whip my balls back and forth."  (to the tune of Willow's "I whip my hair back and forth.")  You can't maintain sexy when you do that!!!
2. A couple were in bed one morning, contemplating  getting up for the day.  The wife looks at the clock, noticing how late it was getting.  She says "We should really get up."  He says "Yeah, we should", still holding on to her.  They continue to cuddle for a minute, and then she says "We really should get up", so he says "Yep", but still doesn't let go.  Knowing she needs to do something to get them up, she grabs his junk lightly.  He smiles and says "Now we're cooking with peanut oil!"  Apparently that's the perfect way to wake a husband up. 
3. Who would have guessed that watching the movie "New Year's Eve" would produce a "Sex and the City" moment?  At the end of the movie, the characters played by Josh Duhamel and Sarah Jessica Parker finally reconnect and kiss in the middle of the street.  Husband sees it and says "Oh, so that's who's Mr. Big!"  Sorry babe, I need your man card....